Sometimes, I think of myself like a video game character. Video game characters have handy indicator lights at the top of the screen to tell you how close you are to dying. They tell you how much damage an opponent will do to you. Useful.

Yesterday took everything I had. It knocked me right into the red. It was a high energy, high focus, event loaded day. I’ve been working on solving a problem at work for a while now. It’s the kind of thing that has a lot of parts and took me a while to understand. Like a hanging mobile, each piece is connected to the others. Touch one and they all move. It might be the most complicated knot I’ve ever been asked to untangle.

Everything has been building up to this day. With me pushing hard for movement and resolution. The pre-call was at 9am followed by the real call at 10. This isn’t a small matter. It took all my inner energy.

After we hung up, my boss called my cell to give me an “atta-girl” and gave me the rest of the day off (right). My colleague and I then worked for hours to paper everything up between other incredibly intense calls. At 4:45 I realized I wasn’t going to make kickboxing class. At 6:15 my other boss called me. “I wanted to tell you I’m putting the paper work through to add an additional 6 months to your term” she said. Amazing. I thought my job was ending in June…

At 7 I walked across the street for some air, an eggroll, and a beer. I came back and worked with my fellow civil servant to write up everything as good as it could be.

I walked out of the office at 9pm.

You might think I went to bed. No. My evening, it turns out wasn’t over. I stopped into a hip local bar for a sazarac and some wings with Mumbo sauce to unwind. One led to two, and before long I’d connected with a friend and used up the last of my energy forgetting about my day entirely. Rather than restoring my life bars though, the drinking and fun only drained me more.

This morning, I had nothing left. Sleep wasn’t enough to restore my life bars back from blinking red to full and green. I was orange at best. I figured I had at least 4 hours of overtime to balance. I laid low until 11:30. I never really recovered. I realized about 6 that I hadn’t eaten anything all day.

I was as productive as I could be. But, I have learned to be patient. I can’t be on, up, and going all the time. Physically, mentally, I sometimes have big moments and then just crash and must rest. Sometimes it takes more than 8 hours. That’s OK.

The cat and I are now going to sleep and sleep well. I have another full day of dragons tomorrow.

 

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